Glowing in the dark

there's this guy i work with who is just delightful. He's maybe in his 30's and he's gay. And he's the most upbeat, positive, sweet, energetic, enthusiastic, and kind person I've ever encountered. And he's not fake either. He's through and through exactly genuinely all of this. He doesn't have a dark side. It's nevr dark anywhere he is.

And he must have been raised by hippies or something because he believes in sunshine and rainbows and wearing a smile at all times. And it's apparently his mission in life to make everyone feel good about themselves. He has a compliment for everyone. If there's good, he'll find it and point it out. and he makes you feel like you are the most special person he's ever laid eyes on.

Tonight I walked into the room and he says, "oh! You're here!! And you are just adorable! Look at you! I always love to see you because you always look so perfect." I laughed and protested, " Don't be silly. I'm wearing jeans and a t shirt for Pete's sake. I wasn't even expecting to come in tonight. I have my grungy at home clothes on."

"Oh, but you're the kind of person who can throw on anything and wear it! You have a style about you." And then he turns to anoth coworker and says, "isn't she? Isn't she the kind of person who can do that? She just glows, doesn't she?" Turning back to me, "All the time, you just glow, you're that kind of person. You have that kind of beauty that just glows."

So it's hard to know what to say to such. So I say, "you're so sweet." And then he beams. He literally beams. So he's beaming and according to him, I'm glowing. And the funny thing is this- even though I know that I'm really rather mousy and goofy looking, somehow I believe him just a tiny teensy bit. I think maybe i am glowing, just a little bit at least. And even now, I feel a little like I'm glowing here in the dark.

The first tear

The wise folks on Pinterest inform me of lots of things. How to turn crayons into candles, how to tell if someone is lying, 127 uses for baking soda and vinegar. Facts about dogs.
Of course I believe it all. Because I'm gullible. And I believed this little fact right up until yesterday afternoon- that when you cry, if you're sad, the tears will fall from your left eye first. If you're happy- from the right.
So I believed that up until yesterday when I was reading something that was exceedingly sad to me. It was something about 9/11. And I can assure you of these things- It made me sad. It made me cry. And the first tear streamed from my right eye.

I don't like to cry. And truth be told, I rarely do. I cry much less than the typical man even. According to pinterest. Which also claims that women cry far more than men.

But really. I don't cry much. There was an era of mine where it was hard to stop myself, it's true. But that involved menopause and the fact that a person I loved crushed my soul and that i was grieving To start with. So, that explains that era. But before and after that- it really can be said that nothing much made or makes me cry.

And if I do cry, it's usually more because of frustration or anger. And it's usually brief.

But yesterday. It was sad. The deep kind. The quiet kind. The kind where if someone was behind you And couldn't see your face- they'd never suspect you were crying.

But so anyway. That's how I know that pinterest is wrong. Either that or I am. Just a wrong mixed up person. Because the first tear fell from my right eye.