the blessings

my family is a small family. there just aren't many of us. my parents only had two children. i only had two children. my brother only had two children and now one lives east and the other lives west. i am divorced. my father is deceased.

so around our Thanksgiving table this year there were only 5 of us. my son, his wife, my mother, my grandson. and me. and then there was our sixth person at the table- my daughter via skype. she lives a world away. her husband was at work. but we caught her before she started work for the day. and she joined us in carving the turkey and saying grace at the table.

and that is how we gathered this year. and it was nice. my mother and i had stuffed and cooked the turkey while my son and his family went to his wife's family gathering. and all went well, even with the turkey taking much longer than expected to reach the 180 degrees of not poisoning us, temperature. and so, a little late, we all sat down at the table.

and as i said, we said our blessings together. very traditional. first we blessed our food. then, my son led us in saying what we were thankful for. he was thankful for his family. ditto my mother. my daughter was thankful for the technology that brought us together. i was thankful for my grandson and for my new son in law. my sweet daughter in law was also thankful for family. my grandson, he was thankful for football. (-: and i was silently thankful that he is so secure in and of the love of his family that he really doesn't even know how thankful he is for what the rest of us were all thankful for. that- being each other.

so i spent the night at my son's house. and hung out today with the grandson while his mother worked and went to see her grandmother in the hospital, and my son went to do a bit of shopping. we goofed off and he showed off his championship rocket math skills. i am amazed at them, having none myself. then during one of the most enjoyable parts of the day, the 8 year old and i went to get our hair cut. we decided that we both looked pretty good, and then i suggested we get some ice cream on the way home. but he really thought he'd rather go to subway and get a pizza sub. and cookies.

and he was so amusedly delighted with his sandwich and his 2 cookies for the price of 1 and he thanked me so profusely that i gave thanks again. for this nice life. with this nice family.

blessings galore.

days of anan

i'm reminded this morning (or hey, i guess it's afternoon) of the good old days of the internet. ok, i'm saying that facetiously. it really wasn't the good old days. it was the time of wanting to put your head through a wall.

do you remember back when you waited anxiously to dial up, praying that that screely noise would turn into success. and it sometimes taking all dang day literally to get a connection? do you remember when you'd finally achieve that success only to be booted off for some aggravating, unknown reason?

do you remember being tethered to a chair and position at your computer desk that likely was not comfortable and convenient or conducive to using the bathroom or getting a blanket or getting ready for work or getting a snack or looking up something in a book? do you remember all that? you were stuck right there. right where you were. unless you were a fast typist and a fast runner.

well, i'm reminded of it all this morning because apparently, i forgot to leave my ipad plugged in last night, and the battery was depleted this morning. and i sit now, tethered to this chair. and it's annoying as all get out to me. it brought back the not so good old days.

it's amazing how spoiled one can get in just a few short years. things we take for granted now, seem almost unbearable. i get the same feeling when i forget my smart phone now. i used to not even want a cell phone. it felt so intrusive. but now, if i'm without it, i feel unconnected to everything. i can't look up directions or ingredients for a recipe when i'm at the store. i can't text a friend to make sure of the place or time that we are meeting or just to share something funny that i see or think of. it's hell.

and vividly, all this reminds me of that time when i was in love. when most of my communication with that love was through internet chat. and i remember, although i don't believe he ever knew it, that it would usually take me hours to get that precious connection to him. i never wanted him to know that to talk to him for 30 minutes or so, it would take me on average about 3 hours of effort to get through. i never wanted him to know that i tried that hard.

i did try that hard.

and then, often times this entity named anan would break in and cut off our conversations. cursed anan. often, i wanted to kill old anan, whoever that was. i did not know who anan was. but oh, how i despised anan. (ironically, i now think i know who anan was. cursed anan.)

anyway, it is amazing to me how easy it is, most days to hop right on the old interwebs and make a connection with people. these days, however, i no longer talk to strangers. and i no longer am plagued by the likes of anan. i'm only plagued by my own silly mistakes of not seeing that i didn't plug in the charger. or something as silly as that. and my discomfort is relatively short-lived. these crazy devices charge up at almost lightening speed. already i am now able to move about the room freely after charging a few short minutes.

all is well again. but for the thought of cursed anan.

silly me

so, i planned my day around company coming this evening. some friends from back home had asked if they could come stay here overnight so that they could catch an early plane in the morning. and we were going to go out to a favorite place for dinner.

and so, i picked up, i cleaned a little. i put fresh sheets on the bed. found the sheets for the hide-a-bed. got out extra towels. since i was on a roll, i cleaned out a closet. ate lightly, so that i could fully enjoy the anticipated meal. read a bit, watched a lousy football game. watched some more tv. poured myself a glass of wine and sat down to wait.

and i waited. a half hour. an hour. an hour and a half.

and at first, i wasn't concerned. there really was no schedule. then i was mildly hungry. then i was thinking i really didn't want to have another glass of wine before i had dinner but good grief. then i was downright concerned. maybe they'd had an accident.

and so then i texted my friends. said "hey, i'm hungry, when you gonna be here?"

and that's when it hit me. that it wasn't today they were coming. it was tomorrow.

oh duh.

so i texted my friends back and said "duh. see ya tomorrow."

ha ha. silly me.

so now i have a clean apt. another glass of wine. and a sandwich. and i have the week off. and something to look forward to tomorrow. yeah.

or as the kids say now- "yay"

Never neverland

They say, "Never say, "never." They never say who they is.

all the same, there are some nevers that i'd like to propose.

"never spend an evening drinking kaluha and coffee with friends." it guarantees that you can't go to sleep until close to 4 in the morning. and that you won't get up until at least noon.

"never put off cleaning out your car or your shed until it's cold out." it guarantees that you will be doubly miserable when cleaning out your car or your shed.

"never believe anything a man tells you when you don't really believe it in the first place." it guarantees that you will be played for a fool.

"never ever try to talk to someone who has made up their mind." it guarantees that you will not be listened to and that you'll just want to put your head through a wall later.

"never ever try to enlist help talking to someone who has made up their mind." it guarantees that the person who has made up their mind will double resent you.

"never ever put your faith in anything or anyone other than yourself. in fact, never really put your faith in yourself." you'll just wind up being frustrated beyond your wildest nightmare.

"never pick up that first cigarette." a sizable percentage of you will never again not want one. a smaller percentage of you will become insufferable non-smokers, depending on your biology.

"never think you're better than anyone else." for obvious reasons.