post christmas indolence

well christmas is packed away and i have a new haircut. those are my accomplishments for the day. oh and i made some plans with some friends for friday, and i talked to a couple other friends on the phone. but that was basically it.

i didn't get over to exercise. i meant to, but being lazy appealed to me more. and lazy is the theme for my week. time to be industrious again, next week. no need to seize the day just now.

sometimes, i think it's quite a blessing that i've no real special gift in life that i need to feel guilty about wasting. i mean, there's no worry that if i take a day off, that cancer is not going to be cured or that world peace won't be declared. the world can afford for me to be couch vegetation. no one's going to die without me. what a relief.

however.

my dad worked almost every day of his life. he never really considered retiring. i marvel at that. but at the same time, i understand it. because if you take all the rest of your life off from doing something meaningful in some way, then what will you do with yourself all day, everyday? run charities? train for marathons? i'd rather rob banks and live under bridges.

so sure, having a few days off to treasure once in awhile is really nice, but all day, everyday? i think i'd sooner die. So i guess being in the middle is nice. not so valuable to the world so that i can't take off and be lazy at times- and not so useless that i can't find employment.

it's not my birthday

but my family was here this weekend, and i don't intend to be with them on my birthday, so we celebrated this weekend. they took me out to dinner. and my grandson bought me (with his own money) a gift card to steak and shake. score. i love the steak and shake.

and my mother gave me a fireplace set for my fireplace. which was a very welcome gift. as i have this fireplace here that i really enjoy, but i've never had the "tools."

and so now that they are all gone, i've fired up a duralog (which my sister in law gave me a case for christmas) and i've got a bowl full of sliced pears, and a glass of wine. and it's not my birthday, and i'm all by myself, but it's nice.

i've decided that i will make my New Year's Eve resolutions this year. i don't usually. i think they are stupid, mostly.

people always want to lose weight, stop smoking, stop being whomever it is that they are. whatever.

but all the same, i'm thinking that i'm not getting any younger, sitting here by myself. and i'm bored with myself. i need to change something or other.

but quite honestly, the things i want to change, i can't. the things i can change, won't make things any better, and don't matter that much to me, so why bother? so it's a little hard to set these goals for myself.

wouldn't it be great to be able to set goals for other people, instead? change the rotten things about them, instead?

something like "you will resolve to quit being an ass this year" or "you will resolve to not be so stubborn" or "you will resolve to listen to others for a change" or "you will resolve to quit doing the things that bug me this year."
"you will quit being so judgmental." "you will reflect, realize you were wrong, and apologize."

yeah. that'd be really cool.

i'll wish for that when i blow out my birthday candles this year. but it's not my birthday.
(-:

Many things is on my mind...

words in the way.

Happy Days after christmas. from sly and the family stone.

the alternate title for this post is "death by hallmark"

my mother tried to kill me this holiday. first by making me watch hallmark christmas specials on end. then by throwing a pillow at me. long stories. not interesting.

but it is a wonder that i'm alive. anyway, christmas is mercifully over for another year. all that's left -the credit card bills to pay. it's all good.

and i'm back home in my apt. where i belong now. and that's good. for my mental health. there's really so little of it left in reserve at the moment.

and i've got that feeling again. that something is about to happen. however, it doesn't feel like it's a good thing.

2014, about to happen. and many things is on my mind.

quote of the day

so i'm really not feeling so good.

hence, i'm really liking this quote i found today.

"sometimes i feel like the last cookie in the cookie jar."