what would you say?

"if you a monkey on a string..?"

in my reincarnated mbb, i'm trying to be upbeat. but sometimes i just want to talk. so deal with it.

so one of my very besties lost her dad not long ago. ok. she didn't lose him. he died. but so anyway, she's grieving.

and she texts me last night about 2 in the morning to tell me that she can't stand it. that she just had no idea how much she'd miss him. how much it would hurt.

so i wasn't quite asleep. i was half-way awake. and i had the presence of mind to respond. but still, what do ya say?

i knew what i couldn't say. i couldn't say when or if it would stop hurting. i knew this for certain. because i knew how much i hated it when people would say this to me. or even when they'd imply it. that one day it would feel better. because i knew then and i know then- how the HELL do they know when and if it would ever stop hurting.

so what i said was "it sucks. i'm sorry."

and what i think/hope/pray i also said (because i really was almost asleep and i'm not sure) that how she felt was normal. because that's what i most needed to hear. that it was all normal.

all the anger. all the sadness. all the frustration. all the grief. all the "damn it all to ----ing hell, i HATE this" IS NORMAL.

and it's ok to be pissy and grumpy and angry and downright pissed off. and it's ok to be sad and tearful. and at a loss. and insecure. for a very very long time.

and i hope that somehow i also conveyed that no matter how grumpy, cranky, angry, sullen, bitter, frustrated she is or will be for however long she needs to feel that way, that i would understand and be there.

i certainly would never get all pissed off and walk away from her when she needed me most.

what would you say.......?