besties

i've told you before how one of my besties is 20 years my junior. i mention it again, because i do constantly marvel at that. because you would think (or i would have thought) that a person might feel closer to people more of their own vintage. and in lots of ways, i do have that with many of my similar aged peers. i feel closer to them because they know the same histories, the same music, the same references. but on the other hand, my younger bestie actually "gets" me better than my same agers do.

striking evidence of that to me occurred this week. my niece, my mother, my sister in law and i went to one of those paint while you drink events where you all paint the same thing under an instructor's direction. and it was striking as all get out to me how very different all four of our paintings came out.

so i posted all four pictures on facebook and captioned that picture with "can you tell which one is mine?"

and my younger bestie friend replied "yes, it's somewhat calm, but still unique. it's the third one."

bingo. that was it.

and i was amazed. as i have been amazed over the years of knowing this friend that she almost always gets what i'm thinking without me having to say or explain anything.

i like this. and i like that she can also apply this talent to shopping. often she'll pick up something that she sees when she's out shopping that she knows "will be perfect for me." and she's NEVER wrong. everything she ever picks up becomes a staple in my wardrobe.

and i'll never forget one time when one of our mutual friends was confused about how and why i was so equally nice to everyone all the time, whether i liked them or not, her instant reply to them- "you don't get it, she really doesn't care about anything enough to distinguish her response between whether she likes someone or not or even really decide if she likes anyone or not in the first place- and so in laziness, she's just nice to everyone equally."

again, bingo. i'd never actually even thought it out that far- but she was exactly on the money. i really don't care to waste time on such things. i don't care enough about anything to.

anyway, back to the pictures- what also cracked me up, besides that she actually knew which picture was mine, was what she said "it's somewhat calm, but still unique." i guess, i don't honestly ever think of myself as calm, but it appears that other people do. at my new job, i just got asked to do something new because "you are so calm, you're the best person for this job because your calm makes other people calm." but i also think that the reason people think i'm calmer than i am is because i don't say outloud everything that goes through my head. and so what appears on the surface is calmness. and that's why i thought it was interesting that my friend adds the word "somewhat" in her thoughts about my painting. i think she gets that what i might express might have that element of calmness, but it's maybe not all the way calm underneath.

as for the word unique. it's hard to say that i do feel all that unique, because to me, i just feel like me. but i do often get that from people. they'll say things like "you always have a creative idea, so what are you thinking about this?" and i do know that i am often annoyed that other people will assume that i'm thinking what or how they are thinking, when i'm not thinking that at all. but that's kind of my own fault that they might assume something like that, because unless it really matters to me that someone knows i disagree, i won't speak up and say that i'm thinking about something differently. to me, it's not worth the effort, unless it really makes a difference to the outcome of something i care about that anyone knows what i really think. but on the other hand, i guess- woe to everyone if i do actually care, because then i will make the effort to speak up, because i will speak up emphatically then. i guess that's how you can tell that i really care about something- if eventually, i will speak up or not. otherwise, i'm quiet and that makes me appear calm.

so i didn't mean to navel gaze this much again today, back to the point- i'm just amazed that my friend could pick out my painting just from knowing me. i wonder if i could pick out a painting of hers from a field. i'd like to think so.