psyched

so i read this little tidbit of info on the internet the other day. it said that psychology claims that if two past lovers can remain just friends, its either they are still in love, or never were.

so hmm. i've thought about that since i read it and i'm not sure whether i think it might be true or not. but then i got to wondering if the flip were true. if two past lovers can't be friends, are they either still in love or were they never?

so well, just thinking over the major relationships of my life- here's where we stand friends-wise.

so there's really only one x-lover of mine that i'm definitely not still friends with. i can't think that we ever will be friends ever again. although that's something that he'd promised me once. oh well. you can't believe much of anything anyone promises you, you know.

then, i think i'm more or less friends with my x husband. although i'm not really sure of that exactly either. i guess i'd like to think we both forgive each other enough not to hate each other. and i don't really mind talking to him. so i guess we're friends. of a sort.

there's another former "guy" that i'm friends with now. although for a great long while, i was furious with him and hated him. but that was rather a misunderstanding on my part, i guess. but things are cleared up now and i would actually say we are good friends now.

and then there's one more i'll talk about- from when i was young. and i can't really say we are friends now, but we parted as friends. and i've no reason to think that we wouldn't get along just fine now if we were in proximity.

but even after i think through these, i'm still not sure if either claim about ex lovers and friends still being in love or never being in love is true or not. and quite honestly the more i think about it, the more confused i get about it.

taxed and feathered

taxes. do you have yours in the mail? or will be you be one of those rushing to the post office tomorrow? i almost was. i mailed mine monday. which is the latest i've ever sent mine in. but you know? i just kind of put it off because filling out forms that i don't really understand is something i hate. a lot. i don't really even mind having to pay money when i have to as much as i just hate filling out these forms. i hate that i don't know why i'm entering the numbers from box 2 into a line for what looks to me like a fairly arbitrary reason. i hate that you should staple somethings but you must paperclip others. do they have a department of staples and paperclips there at the irs or what? anyway, the whole thing just makes me crazy. so now that i don't have to have them done for the fafsas for the kids anymore, i procrastinate.

this year i am paying 41 dollars to the federal government but getting back 46 dollars from the state. that is if i've stapled and paperclipped correctly. i am up five bucks. yay. me.

one year i did my taxes online. which appealed to me but the following year things were a bit more complicated and i had to seek help because i couldn't even figure out how to answer the fairly simple turbo tax questios. and since then, i've had help. i will say however, that i do think that if i absolutely had to, i could do them myself again now. but i choose not to. i'd rather have someone else do them and spend half my time complaining to them how stupid i think the process is.

why can't they say, "if you make x, you pay y% of your income each year. and if you havne't paid it throughout the year, pay it now." seems to me that would be easy. you'd know ahead of time what you had to pay. and that's be it.

why make it any harder than that? i know people want deductions for their kids but you know what? i look at it this way, if you have kids, that's your choice. donn't like how much they cost, don't have them. or have less of them. and then there are mortgage exemptions. what the heck are they about? you get money back because you bought a house? why? i don't get it.

anyway, i just hate the stupid forms and processes. i really don't at all mind supporting our schools (so long as i'm not supporting private or charter schools) or the fire department or the police department. i wouldn't mind supporting libraries or the post office with my taxes. i like paying for city parks and the people who fix the potholes. i'm ok with all of that. i'm even ok with being taxed for water and electricity services. just stop with the stupid stupid forms and exemptions and such.

so i'm relieved. the misery of taxes for this year is over. i now feel light as a feather. until next year.

confessions

so i confess. i'm a stalker.

please don't worry, i'm not a dangerous one. in fact, the reason i stalk is to ease my mind really. so that i know things are just as they were. because if i didn't know things were just as they were, you see, i might explode.

do you want me to explain that? well, too bad. i don't really know how to explain it. except to say that it reassures me that things are as icky as i thought they were. and that i'm better off being where i am than being where i might have been. i certainly wouldn't want to be that person. that person is grating in almost everyway to me. if that doesn't make any sense to you, well again- too bad. that's the best i can explain it.

ok, i'll try to do better. you see, there's someone that i find to be ridiculous. completely and totally. and so, when i see them continue to be ridiculous, it reassures me that i have escaped from ridiculousness.

that truly IS the very best i can do to explain it. and i will say no more.

next confession- i am vain. i do think i know which end is up when many people don't. what makes me angry is when i do know, but i can't do anything about it. oh well. it's hell being a sociopath, don't you know?

third confession- i am seriously selfish. seriously, seriously selfish.

confession quatro- i have wasted a great great portion of my life. i am sad about that. but you know what? i do vow to do better. i do.

and finally, confession five- most of the time, i don't really know what i'm talking about. (-: ah well.

ain't i somethin?

it must be my week or something. i've gotten more compliments from all kinds of people in the past two days than i have in a year's time.

let's see. i've been called smart. as in really smart- really-that's what they said. "wow, you are really really smart." then, someone told me that i have gorgeous legs. then someone else said this to me, "when you were young you must have had a rocking body." which i guess is calling me old, but i choose to take it that this person meant that i still had a decent form for an old gal. then a person i was training told me that i was a wonderful teacher. someone else said that was patient, understanding, and nice. and oh yeah, this morning i was called a hard worker and appreciated very much. oh and then i was called "funny." as in the good kind of funny- not the strange kind.

i mean really! what's with all this? i mean it. who gets complimented this much in two days time? not me. usually, any way.

but well, here i am telling you all about it. so the next thing i'll be called is vain. and my streak of compliments will be over. it was nice while it lasted.

isn't funny though how you can make impressions on people like that? they can see you or things about you that you don't see about or in yourself? and even though you don't believe them really, it makes you feel nice and special-ish to hear them.

so did i really get on here just to brag on myself? actually no. i got on here to talk about something else entirely. and then suddenly, i decided i didn't want to talk about it. so i decided i'd rather talk about something that wasn't sad or upsetting. so this is what you got. it's all i could think of right now. so you got me talking about how great i am. ain't i somethin?