So the day i gave birth to my first child i worked all day, including running the swimming program for our entire school, then came home and made dinner, then went to an aerobics class (low impact, pregnancy aerobics) and then came home and felt miserable. Actually, I'd felt perfectly miserable all day. But no one knew it. Cuz i didn't complain. Then when I went in to full on labor, I was home alone. So, it sort of seemed like labor, so I called the hospital. They said not to worry and to relax. So I tried. But then I felt worse and worse r, so I called back. They again told me it would be hours, if not the next day. So, I was compliant and waited Til my husband came home and simultaneously, I started bleeding and he just called them and told them we were on our way. We barely made it. But we did. And all was well. But later, when i asked them why they didn't believe me when I said I thought I was in labor- they said it was because i was so calm on the phone. They said, anyone going through that stage of labor should have been way more agitated. I couldn't believe it. I said, "but I was TRYING my heart out to be calm, so you wouldn't think i was hysterical. and i didn't call earlier because I assumed you'd tell me it was too soon, then. I waited to call til I was completely sure I needed to call. i guess I'd hoped you'd take me seriously instead of assuming I didn't know what I was talking about.
So the reason I tell you this story is to illustrate a flaw i seem to have. I keep pretty quiet about things that concern me until I reach the state of overload. I wait too long to react and then when I do, sometimes people think I must not be all that serious because I never spoke up before. And they underestimate me I think. Because for the most part, I'm nice and I don't complain until I feel it's absolutely necessary.
So a about two weeks ago, I switched banks. the day i recieved my debit card and checks in the mail, i also got a promotion in the mail about a cash reward when you opened the account. So i took the little card and I went to my new bank and said I'd like my reward, please. The manager told me no. Said I would have had to have had that card the day I opened the account. So I was nice. But i Quietly with a smile, pleaded my case. And he said there was nothing he could do. he didn't take me seriously.
He rather "politely" ushered me out, figuring that this quiet, little old lady in his doorway would leave it at that.
Well, he was wrong. I was quiet, but I was mad. it didn't seem like they should treat people like this and i quietly stewed for an afternoon and evening And then, i decided that if they treated me this way, they'd treat other people this way and so, i consulted higher authorities and lo and behold, I got my reward. And I'm going to guess that the branch manager is now getting demoted, if not losing his job. not that I asked for that, but i made it quite clear that this was not a good customer experience and they shouldn't want those kinds of interactions in their banks.
And the point to me isn't that i should or shouldn't have been upset, but that i wonder if when I am upset, I should say so more immediately instead of thinking that people will take me seriously just because I've said something.
I mean, I don't want to be a scary, pushy, forceful person all the time. I'm actually pretty laid back and easygoing until something stands out To me as concerning. I'd guess I'd just prefer that people take me seriously and/or do the right thing, just because they should.
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Thursday, October 22, 2015
Oh, who am I kidding?
I come from a family of overachievers. I do. They are all fabulous, wonderful people who have accomplished much in this world. They win awards and stuff. They deserve them. They deserve all the credit they get. All the accolades. They are smart, caring, compassionate, and accomplished people. They work hard. It's a good tree.
And then... There is me. I like to pretend I'm a good person. But really, who am I kidding? no, I'm not a complete derelict, but neither am I very good either. I am extraordinarly lazy. I'Ve done mean things. I've made huge mistakes. And then, I've made them again. Just because I could. I think horrible, horrible thoughts. I get angry. I get jealous. I whine, sometimes. and really, if I could think of ways to not get caught, I'd exact vengeance on people sometimes.
I'm not vegan or even vegetarian. Why? Because I like a good cheeseburger. To this day, I'd smoke a pack of cigarettes a day if you let me. Maybe two. I cannot handle liquor. But I drink anyway. Because I like to. I don't do drugs, but only because I just don't care to.
If you let me, I'd sleep everyday Til noon. And never get out of my sweats. I'd never exercise and I'd eat beef jerky for lunch. daily. There really is no end to my mean and slothful tendencies. I have no ambitions. To be anything.
I would eat spoonfuls of salt if it were socially acceptable.
I don't worry about the rain forests or the oceans. I don't give money to keep dogs from being eaten. Although I think about it once in awhile because I've known some good dogs. But beyond signing petitions, i don't act.
I don't go to church anymore at all, except with my mother. I love my mother, but i don't feel comfortable around her. Probably because she's a good person and I'm not.
I'm just not. I won't try to kid you anymore.
And then... There is me. I like to pretend I'm a good person. But really, who am I kidding? no, I'm not a complete derelict, but neither am I very good either. I am extraordinarly lazy. I'Ve done mean things. I've made huge mistakes. And then, I've made them again. Just because I could. I think horrible, horrible thoughts. I get angry. I get jealous. I whine, sometimes. and really, if I could think of ways to not get caught, I'd exact vengeance on people sometimes.
I'm not vegan or even vegetarian. Why? Because I like a good cheeseburger. To this day, I'd smoke a pack of cigarettes a day if you let me. Maybe two. I cannot handle liquor. But I drink anyway. Because I like to. I don't do drugs, but only because I just don't care to.
If you let me, I'd sleep everyday Til noon. And never get out of my sweats. I'd never exercise and I'd eat beef jerky for lunch. daily. There really is no end to my mean and slothful tendencies. I have no ambitions. To be anything.
I would eat spoonfuls of salt if it were socially acceptable.
I don't worry about the rain forests or the oceans. I don't give money to keep dogs from being eaten. Although I think about it once in awhile because I've known some good dogs. But beyond signing petitions, i don't act.
I don't go to church anymore at all, except with my mother. I love my mother, but i don't feel comfortable around her. Probably because she's a good person and I'm not.
I'm just not. I won't try to kid you anymore.
Saturday, October 10, 2015
Core cares
Here are the things I really care about- gun control- we should get us some. Public education- we should support it fully instead of giving our tax dollars to privates and charters. Separation of church and state- there should be a huge divide between them. Funding planned parenthood and supporting a woman's right to choose- women should not be held hostage by hateful old white men and all children should be wanted. We should get a universal and single-payer healthcare system- people should want to take care of each other. We should feed the hungry and house the homeless- just because we can. We should be good to our environment- I'd like the planet sustained for my grandson. Children should be allowed to play and there should be ample recess time in schools-play is how we learn when we are little. All people whomever they are should be allowed to fall in love and get married- because well, a God who hates that is just not really a god. We should not use high stakes tests to judge students, teachers, or school- competiveness is crap when it comes to this.
Oh. And I also believe i should try being a kinder and more honest person. And so should you.
Oh. And I also believe i should try being a kinder and more honest person. And so should you.
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
Grown ups
When I grow up........Yeah. Yeah. I know. I'm already grown up. I'm grown old anyway. And I'm well past the age where there is anything much new to look forward to. Not to say, i won't enjoy moments, travel, learn new things, try new things, etc. But on the other hand, I'm not likely to launch a new career or find a new love or have any real life-changing events ever again.
So a friend group texts a bunch of us last night. She's traveling for business, and she expresses she is sitting by herself in a bar with maybe 10 men, but not a one even looks at her. And she's depressed by this and wants to know what's wrong with her.
And we joke around with her and make her laugh and tell her what is true- that there is absolutely nothing wrong with her. That she's pretty and smart and a good person. And of course, that she's not old. Except that part is not so true. She's old. Actually a year older than me.
And here's the reality of the situation- she too is pretty much done as far as newness goes. She's not going to grow up and have a new life enfold before her either. No rich, smart, handsome millionaire is going to pick her up at the bar and offer her a wonderful job or a happily ever after. That doesn't happen in the real world. And if it does, it will turn out to be a dream, and he turns out to be a jerk.
But here's the difference between her and i- I'm all grown up and realize this reality. She still thinks it might happen when she grows up or something. And she's depressed-while i am not.
That's the thing about really growing up, it might be you know you're there when you are ok with how things are even if they never really change.
So a friend group texts a bunch of us last night. She's traveling for business, and she expresses she is sitting by herself in a bar with maybe 10 men, but not a one even looks at her. And she's depressed by this and wants to know what's wrong with her.
And we joke around with her and make her laugh and tell her what is true- that there is absolutely nothing wrong with her. That she's pretty and smart and a good person. And of course, that she's not old. Except that part is not so true. She's old. Actually a year older than me.
And here's the reality of the situation- she too is pretty much done as far as newness goes. She's not going to grow up and have a new life enfold before her either. No rich, smart, handsome millionaire is going to pick her up at the bar and offer her a wonderful job or a happily ever after. That doesn't happen in the real world. And if it does, it will turn out to be a dream, and he turns out to be a jerk.
But here's the difference between her and i- I'm all grown up and realize this reality. She still thinks it might happen when she grows up or something. And she's depressed-while i am not.
That's the thing about really growing up, it might be you know you're there when you are ok with how things are even if they never really change.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)