la la la. la la. la la

so i have been enjoying vinyl. for years, i haven't listened to very much music. well, because music makes you feel. and to feel is, of course, bad. (ok, ok. ok. it's not bad. but for quite a while, it has just been better for me to keep feelings tamped down. where they could be kept under control. because for a while there- they got quite out of control. and trust me, that is NEVER gonna happen again.)

ANYwho--- i've been enjoying vinyl. because my son and daughter in law bought me this little record player. it's one of those retro things. that looks like a little suitcase when it's closed. they are in all the stores these days. mine is turquoise. and really, it's quite cute. I even bought a little retro table to set it up on. with wrought iron legs.

and i have a grand total of 5 albums here to listen to. one i bought, two my daughter and her husband gave me, one i bought with a gift card my son and family gave me, and one my son dredged out of storage, where i'm hoping that i can rescue some more.

and one of the great joys is picking up the arm and placing the needle down right at the song that i want to hear. it's a much more satisfying tactile thing than punching a button on a cd player. or clicking on a computer link. you feel like you've actually done something. something skillful, when you do it just right. like threading a sewing needle. or sticking a landing off a balance beam.

not that i can stick a landing off a balance beam anymore. i'm not even sure that i can still hoist myself up on a beam anymore. let alone balance on it and perform tricks. old age, it brings you down, i guess.

but i can still artfully and accurately place a needle down right at the beginning of a song. and i like that i can do that. that i have the steady eye and hand for that. it makes me feel in control of my life for a very brief moment.

so there is a an album that has been playing in my head for days now. that i want to pick up next time i'm in the record store. which is another delightful thing about vinyl that i'd forgotten about- spending hours browsing through album covers to select something new to take home. there's some kind of time warp thing that happens when you do that. like being in the library browsing through the stacks. and then suddenly, you're late for your dentist appointment.

so this album that i've been craving is Crazy Horse. Everybody Knows This is Nowhere. and of course, i want to hear Cinnamon Girl. because that is one great song.
but mostly right now i want to hear the title track. i just want to sing along with it- the la la la part.

and it's not that the lyrics mean a damn thing to me. i have absolutely no wish to go home again. there is no one i'd like to go back and get to know. or anything like that. i just want to sing along with it. everybody, everybody, knows this is nowhere. la la la. la la la la.

and yeah, i could pull it up on youtube. but it just would not could not be the same. as setting that needle down just at the right place to hear that guitar intro and old Neil's funky voice chiming in. and then mine. on the la las.

so actually, awhile back i read a book written by Neil Young. and in it he talked about that he specifically puts certain songs in certain order on his records. and actually, i get that. but just the same, i will order the songs how i please. it will be everybody knows first, cinnamon girl second and then after that, who knows. except that i probably won't ever put the needle down on the losing end. because well, you know. i have to be in control.

everybody, everybody knows. la la la. la la. la la