the shape of my heart

it's pretty snowy out. it's valentine's day and i have no valentine. and i've done nothing but what i please all day. and it's not been not nice. not thrilling, but within the frame of things- quite nice.

i had a nice facetime call from my grandson. and he asked me to show him the view out my window when i told him there was snow. the view through my phone camera looked pretty beautiful. perhaps even more beautiful than it was. it looked pretty through the frame.

so last night a friend gave me and another friend free tickets to a show with the city's philharmonic. and he gave us each a candy. apparently, he thought we'd be feeling alone on this saturday night. sorta sweet.

and it was nice. and also nice was my friend telling me that from here on out in her life, she was going to try to be more like me. ha. yeah. i know. what? but apparently she admires my calm in life. and that i seem fairly happy even though i don't have much.

and it's true. i don't have much. but i have all i really need.

and conversely..

i told her that earlier in the week that some other friends were asking me what i'd given up for lent. and i said, i haven't given up anything for lent. i can't give up anything for lent. i need everything i have. i take anything out. and it upsets the delicate balance.

and i think that's the secret. keeping the balance. keeping inside the frame.

when i was a little kid, i was sort of fascinated by the symmetry used in cutting out a construction paper heart. and i was also fascinated with the fact that after you cut your heart out, the scraps also formed a heart. you had the outline of a heart. and a heartshaped hole that you could look at the things of your life through.

and that's kinda how i feel about Valentine's day. i can look through the cutout and see the things in my life that i love. and visually ignore what's outside the borders.

and that's the balance and frame i need for being happy. and the shape of my heart.