the handicapped.

so, i have this stance on crudeness in life. i don't like it. i don't like people behaving crudely. in real life or on the internet. or on tv. i'm repelled by it. i'm repulsed by it. i hate the public discussion of bodily functions. i hate tv commericials about bladder control and feminine itch and tampons. i hate crass jokes based solely on crudeness and the desire to "show off" how "free" you are. i don't even really like it when people swear. i really don't.

and imagine my surprise and disconcertion when one of my best friends posted a fb thing about how i drink too much and swear too much, etc., but that's why she likes me. i really flinched. not because of the trueness of the drinking part. i have been known to have a glass of wine too many, i freely admit to that. but because of the swearing. because i swear to you, that i very rarely actually swear. and not because i'm a prude, i'm not shocked or really offended by bad language, it's just that i just really don't like how it sounds. and i don't want it coming out of me.

because it just seems crude to me, i most usually will choose not to swear. which is not to say that i never do. i just reserve it for emphasis of meaning sometimes, is all.

and all of this might seem quite inconsistant with my extreme love of the tv cartoon, South Park. i love that show, even while it can be the crudest of all shows at times. i love it. why? because it's funny. and it tackles political and social issues in both the subtlest and most outrageous ways. and no subject is too sacred to be examined in absurdist manner. i think that's what i like about it- it's not crude as much as it uses absurdity and humor to make the points it makes.

enter my LOVE for the character timmy. you'd think that because of my life's work with children with disabilities, that i would hate hate hate the character of little timmy. but quite honestly, i think timmy is the best character on the show because of how he's portrayed. and because of the absurdities that his character brings to the table surrounding people's perceptions of people with disabilities. and most of all, i just love how the South Park kids seem to be able to do what adults seem to find impossible to do, they just like timmy for who he is. they don't see him as an "in spite of" human being. you know "in spite of?" as in "in spite of his amputation, he climbed a mountain" or "in spite of her blind and deafness, she became a public speaker, cured cancer, and learned 5 languages." or "in spite of his cerebral palsy, he's just so adorable."

the South Park kids just like timmy, because he's there to like. not because he's accomplished anything great or because he's cute. i love that.

and i like that they don't give him any more consideration than the next character. the wheelchair or the seeming mental retardation, don't give him special priveleges or rights in their eyes. he is who he is and he gets what he gets, the same as the rest of them. i even love that for the most part, the teachers just sort of ignore his presence. he's nothing special to them, because he's not special, he's just another kid.

when i first started teaching, i taught in an institution that is now illegal. what we called a separate facility. it was for students, who had disabilities only. it was considered "best" for all at the time. and there are still people in this world that would consider it "best." i never did. but that's where i got a job at first. because that's what there was. and i was real high on the movement to end that exclusionary practice and institution, which did not always win me friends, back in the day. (but that's an aside.)

anyway, at every holiday, a local women's church group would come in and throw parties for our students. they'd bring seasonally colored cupcakes and red (the kinds that stains) hi-c and party napkins and cups, and little trinket party-favor gifts and they'd spend an hour and a half, setting out all their offerings in our little cafeteria. and at an appointed time, someone would give the word and we'd all go down to there, where we'd sit at the lunch tables in our little class configurations. and while the teachers and aides would physically stuff cupcake bits in the mouths of those unable to feed themselves, they'd all stand there and stare at the kids while they ate. occasionally there would be a shy smile or a little tear in the eye or a whispering to the others of their charity, in too loud of voices, about how adorable the little downs kids were (those people are always down with the downs kids, until they grow up and become downs adults) or how we (the staff) were saints.

and i would think to myself, "yeah, we're xxxxing saints, alright, for putting up with YOU people." i seriously hated the church ladies, enough to swear at them in my head. i never once saw any one of them get their hands all messy from the chemical mixture of red hi-c and blue icing and a kid's saliva. i never once heard one of them say that any of the non-downs kids were cute.

i never once saw or heard anyone of them sit down and have an actual interaction with a kid, beyond the occasional pat on the head of a particular kid, who they were positive didn't have lice.

it was like we were a zoo. and in fact, that's what i called those days- "petting-zoo days" and the worst part was the end, when we'd have to roll and parade the kids past the line of them and have each child in their own way, individually "thank" the kind women for the experience of being a zoo animal. i hated hated hated it. and the only way i could deal with it was to think about how it was wise to teach these children the social convention and necessity of saying "thank you" to people, even if you hated them, because they had the money who would fund your field trips or you adaptive device. i thought, "best to teach them how to sing for your cupcake, because that will generalize someday into grant-writing, that will get you the good stuff."