what about it, virginia?

so - "it's comin on christmas, they're chopping down tree..."

i've been thinking a lot lately about the concept of santa claus. and how we purposely tell kids this unreal person is real. i started thinking about it because my daughter told me that my grandson asked her if she believed in santa claus. she confessed to me later that she wasn't sure if the way she'd answered him was the right way to answer. i thought she handled it quite well, better than i would have if i'd have been put on the spot. she said simply, "i want to."

that answer was good enough for him, i guess, as his belief remains solid even while i'm fairly certain that a number of his friends know the truth. and good for them for not telling him and also not making fun of him. but maybe no one at his age is sure enough really to be the spoiler for him- as it seems to be a major topic of conversation amongst them.

sometimes people equate the belief in santa to a person's belief in god. with the train of thought being that it's no more harmful to believe in santa than it is to believe in god. but here's the thing- people that believe in god generally really believe in god. for the most part when they are passing on their faith in god to their children, they really aren't trying to foist what they "know" to be a false belief. but with santa, truly what they are doing is lying. and you have to wonder if it isn't damaging to lie to children.

i kinda worry that he's going to be a bit heartbroken when he finds out. he seems like that kind of kid.

but here's the crazy part for me. i simply cannot remember when or how i discovered there was no santa. so i could not have been all that traumatized by it all, i guess. apparently, i wasn't an observant or pensive enough kid to wonder, "hey, why'd you lie to me?" i think it was way more disturbing to me when i'd hear my mother say one thing in public and another thing in private in her ladylike attempts to be socially polite. i accutely noticed that and it really did make me wonder if i could trust the things she said. so that kind of falsehood bothered me, but the passing off of a purely fictional character as real, didn't? i'm not sure why.

and i don't know of any of my peers who were traumatized by finding out the truth either. but i'm guessing that perhaps there are some kids, who when they find out, are pissed off. or sad. or hurt.

when my children were little, i supported the myth. and quite honestly, i can't remember the point where either of them realized the truth either. i'm pretty sure i didn't tell them. but i'm also pretty sure they weren't heartbroken by the news either. maybe i was unconscious at the time or something. who knows? but i wonder now that i'm older if i had a do-over if i would perpetuate the story.

i'm really not sure that i would. would that have made my children's childhoods less magical? not that their childhoods were all that magical. but i did love to read to them. and i loved encouraging their imaginations. but i'm just not sure you have to lie to a kid to stir his or her imagination.

and i guess if i'm wondering now if in this mixed up world if it's not better to instill trust in a child over a sense of magic.

and of course we all know the "yes, virginia story"- and for lots of grown-ups and some kids- that's soothing. but i really don't know if i even like that story very much anymore.

i don't have any great conclusions to my ponderings tonight. maybe i'm too tired. maybe my throat is too sore. maybe it's just too weighty a subject for my small brain.