ah, vanity

i was on tv this week. yeah. i was. i was interviewed regarding a local issue. and they used a small portion of the interview in the context of telling a story. and i did well. really. i sounded pretty darn articulate, actually. which i don't believe i very often sound when i'm speaking.

the tv lady even complimented me afterwards. she said i was quite knowledgable and seemed pretty at ease in front of the camera. so i felt pretty good.

until i watched the clip. i did think i sounded ok. as i said, articulate even. but then there's vanity. i looked SO OLD on camera. so very very very OLD. i had no idea i was walking around looking so damn old. i guess i don't look in the mirror enough or something.

now i did think my hair looked ok. not too long and not too short. good color (which is natural these days, by the way.) but my face. oh my heavens- crinkly eyes and forehead creases, and my neck. yech. and my skin tone. arggg. i looked 106.

but what ya gonna do? you get older, and you're going to look old, i guess. i don't believe in plastic surgery for cosmetic purposes, and i don't like wearing much make-up, and i really can't quit laughing so that my eyes won't crinkle or quit worrying, so my forehead won't crease. and my neck? well, my neck attaches my head to my body and it's got that enlarged, messed up thyroid thing going. so i can't really do all that much about my neck either.

so i guess i'll have to learn to live with looking this old. my grandson told me not long ago that i looked like i had about 25 good years left in me, after all. so i'll have to learn. but i sure don't like it. not one bit.

especially since it's likely only going to get worse.