trustiness

so you know. actually right now in my life, i am quite happy. i like where i work. i like where i live. the new city. the new apartment. the neighborhood. etc. i like just everything that is in my life right now.

but do i still have sadness? yes. i do. i still am not happy about my love life. or, as it is right now, my lack there-of.

so i went out to dinner with a friend tonight. and i asked my friend if she thought i was ridiculous to try to seek out some opportunities. she assured me not. i was glad. and i thought to myself about how a few years back i simply could not even be asking this question of her or anyone. because frankly i just could not trust anyone with anything. i was stalled and immobile. that's how affected i was by some past events in my life.

anyway, i get home after dinner and as per usual, after i changed out into my sweats and t shirt, i got online and i see this-

"trust the one who can see the sorrow behind your smile, the love behind your anger, and the reason behind your silence."

and i think "yes, EXACTLY!"

and i'm thinking that as i seek out some other opportunities, THIS is exactly what i'll keep in mind. i won't be fooled by a fairy-tale and a false "hope" or "promise." i won't be fooled by a "pretty-face" and a weak-hearted person who really only cares about himself. i won't be fooled by what seems good on the surface, but isn't real. i will hold out for real substance and real understanding of who i am and what i have been through and what is in my heart. and THEN i will trust again. and only then.

and only then.