what are you doing today?

"what are you doing today?" i was asked about my birthday.

my answer was "whatever i want to and nothing i don't." was my answer.

which is mostly true. i am not doing anything i don't want to do, and i'm doing only things i want to do. i am not, however, doing everything i want.

simply because, as the stones sang, "you can't always get what you want."

i don't always think however, that "if you try, you get what you need" though. but then again, the stones didn't actually say that either, did they? what they actually said was "if you try, SOMETIMES, you get what you need."

to which i would say "and most times, you don't, no matter how hard you try or how sincere you are."

yes, i am a cynic. some would call me a pessimist. i would call myself a realist, i guess.

but so, here i was on the phone and my friend asking me "what are you going to do today?" with the strong insinuation that i ought to be doing something special for my birthday ON my birthday. and it's not like i'm feeling neglected by friends or family or anything. by the end of the week, i will have celebrated the event 4 (and maybe 5) times. just none of it on the actual day is all. but even so, i felt a bit defensive at my friend's question. a bit like a loser that she might feel sorry for.

except that i really don't really feel like a loser. i actually feel just fine and content. and if not a winner, at least a person who isn't 6 feet under or wanting to be.