a difference between day and night

you know, i've NEVER willingly been an early riser. but i'm starting to see the light. i'm starting to realize that mornings are actually quite nice.

you know what the trick is to enjoying the a.m.? i'm going to tell you. lean in here, so that you can hear...

the secret IS: ............ NOT BEING EXHAUSTED!!!!!!!

i never fully realized how exhausted i was before!!!!

in fact, i think the secret to enjoying almost everything in life is not being exhausted. and i'm sad for everyone who has never experienced this. i'm sad that i never experienced it before.

want to know another little secret about me? i have never enjoyed taking walks. i've tried to. i've wanted to. i've wanted to enjoy getting out in the fresh air, to walk a path, looking around at stuff. but i've never really liked it. whenever i have done it, i was always thinking that i'd be so so glad to get back home. and if i ever did it, it was because i thought i ought to get out and exercise or oxygen or i thought i at least ought not to be sitting on my butt. it was "i SHOULD to this," not "i want to do this."

but today? today, after work, it was nice out, and i went for a very long walk. an hour and a half of a walk. and i listened to npr and i enjoyed the sights of nature; i even looked at birds. and i peeked into people's backyards, and wondered about them and their lives. and it was delightful! and i would have kept going for much longer and not been bored, except that it was starting to get dark.

what a wonder! and the reason i suddenly liked walking? i really think it's because i'm NOT EXHAUSTED!!!

anyway, i really don't know how to act anymore. because everything that is in my life is stuff i enjoy. i love my new job. i love that it's part time, and that i'm not worn completely out when i finally get home, and yet, it's still what i consider "important work." i love my little apartment. i love that everything i need is within a few blocks from me. i love the people i've met. i LOVE not being tired beyond tired. and i am starting to love mornings. time for a nice cup of coffee, a little bit of reading and sitting in the sunshine before i take off for work. which is less than 2 minutes away. and then, a long walk when i get home? icing on this wonderful cake! it's all very sweet.