dispirited

so sometimes, i turn on the tv for no reason and there is just wierd stuff on. and i'm compelled to watch it. so i've watched a lot of crazy stuff.

so i've watched a few episodes of "long island medium." and of course, it's probably all bunk. but there are lots of people who swear by her. and the whole idea of mediums. and so i watch it with interest.

and i may have written before about how disturbing it is to me thinking about the whole issue of dead people you know hovering around you all the time. i do not know why this is comforting to anyone at all. especially, according to the Long Island medium, they seem to be able to read your thoughts.

and so they (the spirits) are going to know what all you really think about things. and they are going to know if you are less than honest or if you are a big phony. or if you are actually very selfish. or lazy. or whatever. do you see what i'm saying? it would seem they see your each and every flaw and mistake, and they even know when you have bad intentions. because let's face it, if we're human and we're not sister simone or someone, we are probably a little bit awful, don't you think? or is it just me? am i the only person who knows themself to be awful on the inside sometimes?

i mean, i watch those people coming to see lim and they all seem so nice, sincere, and they all seem like good and wonderful folk who would never have a thing they'd want to hide and who would never hate someone else or someone.

which brings me to another thought. even IF, all these people are really like this (and not like me)- i'm sure that there are tons and tons of truly just awful people out there. how come the lim never picks up on spirit trying to talk to them? if you are terrible, do you just not have a spirit following? everyone in the dead zone gave up on your soul? what? how dispiriting.