hedgehogs and hegemony

“If somebody thinks they're a hedgehog, presumably you just give 'em a mirror and a few pictures of hedgehogs and tell them to sort it out for themselves.” douglas adams

hegemony: preponderant influence or authority over others

so i'm thinking about how my life has turned out, and how my perception of myself has changed dramatically in the past few months.

and what has changed my perspective? sure, partially it's the move and the new environment. it's funny how getting out of hell on earth can do that for you. but part of it's that i've finally stopped letting someone's perspectives have the preponderant influence over me. and i've started to see myself as other people, (besides "him") see me, instead.

and apparently, these others- they don't see me as a hedgehog. or evil. or a bitch. or vile. or despicable. or whatever else i was called and presumed to be.

what a heady day it's been. some seriousness flattery and compliments coming my way. and. i'm feeling strong. and i'm feeling good. and i'm feeling appreciated for who i am and for what's in my heart. it's been a very long long time, since i've felt that way.

and it's not like people have shown me pictures of hedgehogs. and let me sort it all out by myself. i'm really not smart enough for that. instead, lately, people have shown me "pictures" of who i've been to them. and i'm starting to think- "hmmmm." and "maybe, maybe... THAT's what is really true."

and maybe the real definition of hegemony has more to do with cultural or political influence than an individual's influence over someone's personal perceptions of themself. but what can i say? hedgehogs and hegemony? who could resist how those two words sound together? not me.