rave reviews!

so i don't want to brag.

ok, yes. i want to brag. even while i really hate braggers. i do still want to brag.

because i'm awfully proud of myself tonight.

you see i did something today that i've never done before and that's that I stood up before my entire state senate and a pretty decent sized visiting audience and spoke on an issue that i really care about.

and well, i was one of many speakers, and there were a great many of them who were awesome, but i, my little self, got a huge number of really super compliments on my little 5 minute talk. my favorite was "you were so eloquent and passionate today! i almost cried, seriously!"

i cannot tell you how proud this makes me. because i can tell you how very HARD this was for me. i mean, i had no problems writing my speech. except for editing it to not go over the allotted time. and i don't have problems reading aloud. actually, i'm a pretty good "outloud" reader, in that i know i can read almost anything with expression. once a long time ago, i tape recorded an entire chemistry book for a student, explaining illustrations and all, and when i went back to check it for accuracy, i found that even while i didn't even know what i was reading about in at least half the book, i made it sound like a storybook. (-: it made me laugh. but so anyway, getting up in front of people and all, though? do you have ANY idea how very introverted i am, by nature? any idea?

i want to throw up; it makes me so nervous. once an administrator i worked with called me "a little firecracker" because he said that I was so very quiet for the most part, but then when i have something to say, i really say it. bang!"

and i told him, truthfully, that it's because i'd really just rather not speak unless i feel compelled to. I am happy to let others have the spotlight, so long as i feel that there is nothing to be added. but i cannot stand to be quiet, when something NEEDS to be said. and so it bursts out of me.

anyway, today i'm very proud to say that someone found me to be eloquent and passionate. and other people said a lot of other nice things. but i'm really proud of eloquent and passionate. because i've always wanted to be those things. (-: