"The wise man can pick up a grain of sand and envision a whole universe. But the stupid man will just lie down on some seaweed and roll around until he's completely draped in it. Then he'll stand up and go, 'Hey, I'm Vine Man.'" Jack Handey
"I think my new thing will be to try to be a real happy guy. I'll just walk around being real happy until some jerk says something stupid to me." (also Jack Handey)
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