so, why don't i listen?

actually, i am far too good at listening to others. and just terrible at listening to myself. i KNEW my med level wasn't right. i KNEW it. i was far too tired all the time. I was gaining weight. i was feeling more depressed than i had for awhile. and so i knew it! but would i listen to myself?

oh, no. of course not. i would not listen because i didn't want to go into the doctor and have the med levels checked. and i just wrote off my fatigue to that i was getting older, and that it was winter and it was dark all the time. and i wrote off my weight gain to that i was more sedentary now that the winter was here, that my job doesn't demand the hours and the physicality like the old one did, and that i hadn't been watching my diet at all.

so no, i wasn't going to listen to myself, because the meds had not run out yet, and i didn't want to go back for an extra blood test before they did.

so, NOW. because i wouldn't listen to myself, i not only have to eat better, lose weight and go back for another doc appointment for these meds, the goofy doctor feels my ldl levels are too high, and i need to go back to have those checked again. grr.

and not only that, but he suggested to me that i might want to have other tests to see why it's high. when we both already know why it's high. it's high because that goes along with my condition when it's not medicated properly for too long.

grrr. grrr. grrr.

someday, i'm going to learn to listen to my damn self.

and in the meantime, i will take the new higher level meds, and i will be more careful about what i eat. and i will get back on the exercise routine. i will go back in 6 weeks and have the med levels and the ldl checked again. i'm thinking i'm going to pass on the other tests though. Seems awfully silly to me to go to all that expense and trouble when i already know why it's off, and i can fix it myself.