after you've counted to 10

it's hard to be articulate when you're angry. at least it's hard for me. rather than speaking clearly and directly, i sputter and i stammer, and i'm prone to dashing things to the ground. i can't think straight. and i can't reason well.

they say that anger is destructive. it is. that's true. but it's also a normal human reaction, right? to being hurt, to being dismissed, to being lied to, to being misunderstood, to being cheated, to being ridiculed, to being ignored, etc.

you can't stop yourself from feeling it. you can try to contain yourself, i guess. but holding it in is not good either. what do they say? that depression is anger turned inwards?

could be.

so what do you do with it? when exercise, meditation, screaming, yelling or crying don't work.

well, the only thing i can seem to do is write. write. write. write. write. write. and sometimes it helps to write to the person you're mad at. and sometimes it helps to write about the person you're mad at. and sometimes, it helps to just write about the emotion and avoid the specifics completely.

and it's not completely effective. but since i can't seem to be vindictive or violent, it's the only thing that semi-works. so i guess i'll stick with it.