this year's look - a whiter shade of pale

i went shopping yesterday. yeah, i know. i hate shopping, but you see, i needed something. and since i really don't like to go shopping, i sort of made it a point to really look around and to get things that i will need in upcoming weeks, so that i wouldn't have to go back anytime soon. but..

i overstayed my limit. i have this limit on shopping. when i am done, i MEAN i am done. not ONE MORE STEP towards any merchandise. it is time for me to go. or i feel like i will topple over.

so, being past my limit, i hurriedly walked back to the anchor store that i parked by and then stopped and was standing at an intersection inside the store, trying to determine exactly which way were the men's coats. because i had the mental breadcrumb that i had entered the store right where they had men's coats. and i was hestitating, because it's a big store and i couldn't see men's coats nor could i find a sign that pointed to men's coats.

and i must have hestitated too long and/or too hestitantly and suddenly these two sales ladies (older women, mind you) are saying, "MAM! Are you ok?" not, "mam, can we slosh this perfume all over you?" not, "mam, can we help you find a nice sweater." but, "MAM! Are you ok?"

the alarm in their voices even made me wonder if they weren't talking to someone else? i turned toward them and it was clear that they were talking to me. so i say, "are you talking to me?"

and the one says, "yes, are you ok? you looked so pale, like you were going to pass out."

i replied, "ha, no, i'm fine. i'm just trying to figure out where men's coats are because i came in by men's coats."

with much relief registering on their faces, "she's alive!"- the other one says, "oh, go that way" pointing towards the north. i scurried off with as much vigor and vim as i could muster, lest they think their original assessment of my frail condition was correct, after all. i dashed out of the store and to my car.

now i realize that i'm a pale creature. of scandanavian descent. i realize that in the winter, i'm even paler because i can't get enough time with my friend, the sun. and i realize that being temporarily confused about where the men's coats could possibly be probably registered as a blank stoney look on my face. and i realize that i had gone past my tolerance for the cacophony that is the mall, but... BUT, did i really look that bad?

i checked in the mirror when i got home. i looked like me to me. just an average regular person. but i guess i'm going to have to try for a more john boehner look before i go out again. so that people won't think i'm collapsing or overdosing on drugs or something.