ms. personality

i think i wrote about this before. maybe. i can't really remember. but so, in case you didn't know, according to personality tests, my personality type is INTJ. in a "portrait of an intj" it is said that "other people may have a difficult time understanding the intj." it goes on to say that a lot of that is actually the fault of the intj, him or herself. i will concede this as a truth.

i don't like it, of course, though. in fact, it sort of ticks me off,because also inherent in this personality type is the tendency to put forth a great deal of time and effort into understanding others. and well, it seems to me that it would be only fair that others spend the same amount of effort into understanding me.

ok, i know. that's ridiculous. it's not any other person's responsibility to understand me. but even so, i can wish, can't i? that for once, someone would actually take the time and make a true effort.

i'll tell you what though, it can be worse. i really really hate it the most when someone thinks they understand me, when they really don't. that's not just annoying, it's often downright hurtful. my feelings feel completely disregarded when someone sums me up, inaccurately. and it's annoying as all get out when someone assumes i'm feeling like they think i ought to feel.

so the intj is actually the hardest personality type to anger. or so they say. i kind of think it's true. it takes a real real lot to make me angry. you have to be doing something incredibly mean and stupid, hurtful, cruel, or wrong to anger me. on the other hand, it doesn't seem to take much to frustrate us. but on the 3rd hand, a lot of times people think we are angry when we aren't.

so what's all that mean? i don't know. it is what it is.

it's me. just in case, you happened to want to know.

so, why don't i listen?

actually, i am far too good at listening to others. and just terrible at listening to myself. i KNEW my med level wasn't right. i KNEW it. i was far too tired all the time. I was gaining weight. i was feeling more depressed than i had for awhile. and so i knew it! but would i listen to myself?

oh, no. of course not. i would not listen because i didn't want to go into the doctor and have the med levels checked. and i just wrote off my fatigue to that i was getting older, and that it was winter and it was dark all the time. and i wrote off my weight gain to that i was more sedentary now that the winter was here, that my job doesn't demand the hours and the physicality like the old one did, and that i hadn't been watching my diet at all.

so no, i wasn't going to listen to myself, because the meds had not run out yet, and i didn't want to go back for an extra blood test before they did.

so, NOW. because i wouldn't listen to myself, i not only have to eat better, lose weight and go back for another doc appointment for these meds, the goofy doctor feels my ldl levels are too high, and i need to go back to have those checked again. grr.

and not only that, but he suggested to me that i might want to have other tests to see why it's high. when we both already know why it's high. it's high because that goes along with my condition when it's not medicated properly for too long.

grrr. grrr. grrr.

someday, i'm going to learn to listen to my damn self.

and in the meantime, i will take the new higher level meds, and i will be more careful about what i eat. and i will get back on the exercise routine. i will go back in 6 weeks and have the med levels and the ldl checked again. i'm thinking i'm going to pass on the other tests though. Seems awfully silly to me to go to all that expense and trouble when i already know why it's off, and i can fix it myself.

poorlytraveled

United States, mexico, canada, norway, denmark, norway, finland, sweden, japan, and germany.

those are the only countries i have ever been in.

indiana, illinois, wisconsin, utah, nevada, texas, colorado, florida, georgia, North Carolina, South Carolina, pennsylvania, connecticut, michigan, ohio, kentucky, tennessee, hawaii, kansas, oklahoma,arkansas, virginia, West Virginia, arizona, (District of Columbia,) california New Jersey, New York, missouri

those are the only states i've ever been in.

it's a big world. and i have seen very little of it.

knock, knock, knocking on hade's door

i read an enormous amount of crap on the internet each day. it takes up so much of my time, it's hard for me to imagine what i used to do with my time.

ok, i know. what i used to do with my time, but the point is, i do read an enormous amount of crap each day.

and every once in awhile, i'm rewarded with something really special. such as the following quote from a "news" article about a house that is allegedly being haunted:

"If it’s true this home is a portal to hell, then I want to go there and see what happens,”

don't ya love that? that there's a guy walking around in this world with the unintentionally comic (no, i didn't mean cosmic) spirit to look at a reporter with a straight face and say, "If it's true this home is a portal to hell, then I want to go there and see what happens."

ha. seriously, i mean it. ha.

and well, how do you hold a straight face as a reporter when someone says something like that to you? i believe, i'd bust a gut, right in the ghostbuster's face. and i'm afraid that i'd have to headline the story i wrote with, "There Sure Are a Bunch of Nutjobs in this World, Aren't There?"

and for the record, if there were such things as portals to hell, i'd personally recommend staying the hell away from them. but, if you're dumb enough to say something like this to me ever, i'd seriously think about giving you a push.

that would be a headline, wouldn't it? fit for a tabloid. "I Pushed Someone Into a Portal of Hell"