if i were a rich man....

you might find this hard to believe, but i've really never given much thought as to what i'd do if for some reason one day i woke up rich.

sure, a few times some friends and i bought lottery tickets, and we fantasized a bit. but i can't say that i ever really took it seriously. it was too "out there."

but today i was reading about bill gates and then a hedge funder who wants to play at being called a philanthropist. and since i was disgusted by what all i was reading about how they are either wasting their money or using it to try to control others.

so, what would i do? if i were super mega rich?

ok, first i'd set aside oodles of money for my grandson to go to college or use to get started in a career.
then i'd pay off my son's house and buy he and his wife new cars.
then i'd spend an equal amount on my daughter and her husband.
then i'd make sure that my mother was taken care of for the rest of her life.
then i'd set up a retirement plan (a real one) for myself. and set up a will so everyone would know what they were getting when i up and croaked.

then i'd move. to an even bigger city. and get a really swanky apt. and i'd fly my friends in and out to visit.

then i'd make a list of all the vacations that i'd want to take and set aside enough money for all those.

then, i'd take language lessons and hire someone to push me to exercise and eat right daily.

then i'd set up every other day 2 hour massages.

then i'd buy paints and paint a little bit every day. just for the heck of it, because it's fun.

oh and yeah. i'd quit work. i mean, it's not like i have any real talents or abilities that the world would miss, so i'd quit work, and i'd start taking classes on whatever interested me.

i'd hire myself a math tutor. until i wasn't stupid anymore.

oh and i'd give all my closest friends a wish. and i'd make each of those wishes come true. remember, i'm mega rich and i would cover any wish up to 100,000 dollars.

i'd hire someone to clean for me. and to take care of a dog that i want, when i travel. and i'd maybe even hire a cook. who would not only cook, but let me cook with him or her if i wanted.

i have one friend that is already hired to be my personal assistant. and one of her duties would be that- she would go shopping with me, because she understands that i can only deal with shopping for so long, and then i just want to go have dinner and a glass of wine.

so i'd do all that, and of course i'd have already hired a financial advisor, who i'd have advise me about all the investments i should make so that my money grows, and so that i'd be able to promote the causes that i care about.

those causes would be: public education, libraries, homeless shelters, hunger programs, scholarships for scientists and doctors and engineers of useful things and writers. i'd choose just so many a year. but i wouldn't make the potential recipients of those scholarships write grants or proposals or essays. i'd just ask them to come and meet me. and i'd decide whether or not i'd fund them based on whether i liked them or not.

and do believe that i'd study politics. and i'd start in my own state and fund little guys that are fighting for the underdogs and those who can't fight for themselves.

and i'd pay my taxes. and i wouldn't bitch about it.

oh and you know what? i might buy myself a new car. but not much of one. just a modest one, that isn't red and has a stick shift.