Saturday, November 23, 2013

Never neverland

They say, "Never say, "never." They never say who they is.

all the same, there are some nevers that i'd like to propose.

"never spend an evening drinking kaluha and coffee with friends." it guarantees that you can't go to sleep until close to 4 in the morning. and that you won't get up until at least noon.

"never put off cleaning out your car or your shed until it's cold out." it guarantees that you will be doubly miserable when cleaning out your car or your shed.

"never believe anything a man tells you when you don't really believe it in the first place." it guarantees that you will be played for a fool.

"never ever try to talk to someone who has made up their mind." it guarantees that you will not be listened to and that you'll just want to put your head through a wall later.

"never ever try to enlist help talking to someone who has made up their mind." it guarantees that the person who has made up their mind will double resent you.

"never ever put your faith in anything or anyone other than yourself. in fact, never really put your faith in yourself." you'll just wind up being frustrated beyond your wildest nightmare.

"never pick up that first cigarette." a sizable percentage of you will never again not want one. a smaller percentage of you will become insufferable non-smokers, depending on your biology.

"never think you're better than anyone else." for obvious reasons.

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