judge not

so i really really really try to not be judgmental. i know you may not believe that, but i really do. i know "there, but for the grace of a diety, goes me." i also know that when you judge and it turns out you are wrong, your credibility is suspect. i know that oft times it's the things that you hate about yourself that you judge other for, so it points out your own flaws. and i know that it's just plain mean to be judgmental. i know,"judge not, lest you be judged."

i know all this. and i do try, when i think something judgmental, to keep it to myself. but sometimes, i just gotta say something. i just can't help myself. and so it is, today.

here it is, here's what i'm judging- when middle aged or semi-old people exhibit public displays of affection. and most especially when they post it on facebook or other social media. i'm sorry, but you look stupid. you look immature. you look ridiculous.

as ridiculous as the middle-aged man with a shiny little sports car. you look like a viagra commercial. and who the hell wants to look like that? and who the hell wants to look at you looking like that?

now, i'm not saying a hug after a long separation is bad. and i'm not saying posting a wedding picture is bad. or even a really flattering picture that someone takes of the two of you together, side by side smiling. and i'm not saying even that a quick handhold or a look across a crowded room is bad or that an arm around a shoulder occasionally, is all that bad. i'm a fan of these things, actually. but other than that, really, you're not 16 or in your 20's or even like 80 or 90 when i think it's ok again. i'm just saying "show some decorum, ok?" "don't leave me with the disturbing imagination of you going at it like rabbits as soon as the camera's off you, ok?"

it's just creepy ok? and it looks like you have no sense of class. and it looks like you are bragging about how you still "got it" after all these years. really. you just look stupid, ok?

so maybe i'm jealous. maybe it's just that i'm sad that i have no one to canoodle in front of a camera with or brag to my friends about. maybe. but you know? i don't think it's that. i really think it's that you just look stupid. because i don't find myself envying you, i find myself wondering, "what the hell is wrong with you?" or "what's wrong with your relationship that you can't give it a rest or that you think you have to show people how much in love you are."

so i'm judging you. and i know. judge not. but really. get a room. and shut the camera off, k?