i am so grateful that it's finally here! not that i'm doing that much besides meeting up with some friends for a bit tomorrow. but heavens to pete, what a week. and i'm SO glad to be home, sweet, apartment. with nothing more challenging than my laundry to do.
i worked every night this week. so roughly, i worked at least 8 hour days each day, even while the days are split up to a.m. and p.m. sessions.
now i know. it's beyond ridiculous for (especially) me to feel like that's a lot of work. i mean, good grief, i used to work close to 80 hours a week, all told. and i did that for years. upon years. and then each day came home and made a horrible stab at raising children and keeping a house. and wow, i even used to volunteer and chair committees on top of that!. and i realize that i would get maybe 4 weeks off in the summer. but still, i was running a sleep debt that was mounting up higher than the federal deficit. and making me next to insane, i think.
and my fatigue right now also seems crazy- because even while i worked more hours than usual this week, this job really has next to none of the mental and emotional stress that the old one did. when i look back on that stress now, i really couldn't tell you how i survived, how i was ever civil to anyone at all ever, or how i didn't either go postal or off myself. it almost seems something of a miracle, now that i look back on it. they really were NOT the good old days. at all. but even while it's nothing compared to what i used to deal with, i do have to say that last night presented a bit of a challenge, dealing with a crazy, rather intense situation. but still. that was nothing compared to the past. and it was one night of intensity. not the every night. and certainly not the "things hanging over my head all the time even while i was supposedly off work" kind of intensity.
so anyway, it seems ludicrous that i'd be so tired tonight. and so very glad to stay in doing nothing but sampling a glass of wine, watching some home & garden tv, while simmering a new recipe in the crockpot. it smells delicious, btw. not even sure i can wait the full six hours of simmmering before diving into it.
all the same- YAY! the WEEKEND!
Friday, November 1, 2013
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