Drop another coin in the slot

...and i'll tell you more.

i can't help myself. i'm very drawn to silly things like tarot cards and fortune telling. intellectually, i know that all such spiritual things, really all spiritual things, are so much hokum. i do. i'm not an idiot, really. but just the same, i'm drawn to them.

i keep fortune cookie slips. visit me someday and i'll show you at least half a dozen that have never come true. i've gone to psychics, supposedly for fun, with girl friends, and i secretly wish that they were real. when i'm really bored late at night, i'll consult the online fortune tellers. (but only the free ones) hoping for some good news. some glimpse at the future that will make me happy rather than sad.

so, it's no wonder that when my son's family and i visited an arcade to play games with the grandson, while on vacation, i gravitated towards the fortune teller machine in the arcade (rather like the one in the movie, big) and i begged a quarter off my son to get my fortune. (i happened to have no quarters of my own at the moment.)

and these are "Grandmother's Prophesies"

LOVE

Oh Speed on, speed on my little dove
Carry a message to the one I love
Tho a cruel fate has us two parted
I know that the future has in store
Greater happiness for ever more.

When that long awaited letter finally comes, no words will be able to describe the joy that will be yours. Since you are so clever in so many ways, you have learned to make the best of things. Your life as a result is not spoiled by the curse of boredome. (that's how grandmother spelled it.) You are fond of gay music, and like to dance. You are an impulsive person, given to exclaim in ecstasy if things please you.

Drop another Coin in slot and I will tell you more.

Well, and I had no other coin to drop in the slot, having had to bum the first one. so who knows what malarkey old grandmother would tell me next. for a brief moment, i contemplated asking my son for another quarter, but embarrassment, plus the desire to watch the grandchild play his games, held me back. so i stuffed the card in my pocket and walked away from grandmother. laughing at myself for being so silly.

and then i forgot all about it. until tonight, i reach in the pocket of my jeans and there the stupid thing is. an i think, "if ONLY, i'd had another quarter to drop in the slot." (-:

but then i think that it's just as well, there is really no sense in believing in anything spiritual. all of it just elevates your hopes falsely. and you have to come crashing back down to earth again. and realize you live in a real and concrete world, that simply plods along with no rhyme or reason, good fortune and bad, intermingled for no real reasons whatsoever. there's no fate. there's no fairy tale happy ever after.

there's only just some old grandmother wanting you to drop another quarter in the slot.