i take it back, i didn't mean it, please forget what i just said...

"i take it back, i'm sorry. i must have been out of my head."

i read this really cool article about how to teach children to apologize. A four step process:
I'm sorry for....
Because....
In the future, i will....
Can you forgive me?

outstanding, huh? and as a grown up adult, i wish i'd have known of this a long time ago. i remember trying to apologize for something once and the person i was trying to apologize blew up because i tried to interject why i'd behaved the way that i had. i thought, apparently mistakenly, that if this person could understand what led me to say what i said, that this person would understand that i hadn't intended harm. i learned the hard way that this merely sounded like excuses and rationalization. it truly wasn't meant to be excuses or rationalization, i just thought that it helps me to understand what's behind a person's actions. apparently that is not true for all. so in the end, i'd really recommend sticking to this 4 step process. and leaving out what i left in.

but i'd also like to propose that we teach children how to accept an apology. something like..

thank you for telling me you're sorry...
my feelings were hurt....
i want us to keep being friends.
and
either- "i will try to forgive you. please give me some time to cool off...."
or "i forgive you."

clearly, i'd like to live in a world filled with unicorns and rainbows, huh?