spree me

so i went on a spree today. a shopping spree.

i don't know what got in to me. i almost never buy myself clothes. but, well, i saw this ad for these shoes that i wanted with some travel in mind. so i went out to get them. only problem was that when i saw them in the real world, i just didn't like them. i did, however, like another pair of shoes. and i have to tell you that they were the very most comfortable shoes, i'd ever put on my feet. they were made for a traveler. they were insane. and i suddenly didn't care how much they cost. and then i saw a watch for 10 bucks. and i needed a watch. so i got that.

but i didn't stop there. i had seen another ad for some exercise apparel. so i moved on to another store to check that out. and well, when i tried those pants on, i didn't like them either. but here's what i did like. 2 dresses, 2 tops, a jacket, and a blouse.

all in all, i spent $130. i know you will laugh and think that's next to nothing, but no exaggeration, that's probably the most i've ever spent on myself at one time. so, in my mind. that was an honest to goodness spree. i know my sister in law would make fun of me, telling me that thinking 130 bucks is a spree is laughable. but oh well. in my mind, and quite honestly, in many people's mind's, i think, i had a spree.

and in honor of my spree, i went to the grocery and bought a bottle of wine and 2 mangoes. that put me back about 12 bucks.

anyway, i have decided that i don't really hate shopping. what i hated was back when i was married, i caught such hell about buying anything, that i never did. it just was not worth it. and if forced to go shopping with someone, it just became an unhappy exercise in looking at all the things that i couldn't have.

so for a long time, those uneasy shopping feelings ruled. a really long time. in fact, almost up til now. i mean, even if someone else was buying me stuff and maybe especially if someone else was buying, i just hated shopping. i couldn't handle it. i somehow had the idea that i would pay for it, with even more than money. but slowly, slowly, slowly it has dawned on me that now that i can buy things if i want and if i budget. i answer to no one but myself. and well, if i discover that i can actually afford to go on a tiny spree once in awhile, well then, hey, i will go on a spree once in awhile.